We like to talk about equal rights and respecting each other’s interests, and in theory we’re all good. But what about in practice? Can we see dishonesty in real relationships at first glance?
votreART invites you to take a look at some quite frequently occurring situations. Perhaps this will help you to see personal relations from a new perspective.
Unequal spending of time and money on common needs
Every day you go out of your way to go for groceries after work and cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner because your partner’s used to eating well? You get another job because you can’t afford your beloved’s whims? Your wages aren’t enough for 2? It’s unfair!
When only one of you benefits from living together
Your partner lives in your house and you share food expenses equally? Either of you has several bottles in the bathroom bought specifically for yourselves? You cook and clean up in turns? Seems everything is all right here. But still unfair!
Illusory financial independence
You don’t offer each other financial support in times of trouble because everyone knows money spoils relationships. There’s even a saying that goes, “If you want to lose a friend, lend him money.” It’s unfair!
You have no one to rely on
You know for sure you can’t afford to fall ill because no one would take care of you? You think your partner will do well without your care because they’re not your child? You can’t ask them to look after your pet or flowers while you’re away? It’s unfair!
Face to face with stress
You quit trying to tell your partner about your feelings because you know there’ll be no compassion? You don’t ask each other for advice because you have no idea what the other’s life is about? You don’t feel support when you desperately need it? It’s unfair!
Blaming for not being able to do “typically” male or female work
You’re reproached for not being able to repair a leaking pipe in the kitchen? You’re shamed for your pasta that’s not nearly as delicious as your partner’s mom’s? You’re required to start earning “like a man“ or be ”a good housewife”? It’s unfair!
You have to listen to how wonderful her friend’s husband is? You know all about the talents of his pal’s wife? Somehow everyone’s forgotten that you were perfect at the beginning of your relationship. It’s unfair!
Refusal to accept responsibility
Your kids aren’t as gifted as your friends’? The wallpaper in your bedroom you chose together has somehow become “the result of your bad taste”? You’re always blamed for everything that concerns you both? It’s unfair!
Your philately collection takes up too much space? You interfere with a TV show because you sew too loudly? Your hobby is just weird? It’s unfair!
Own interests above all else
You find that you’ve got too little space on the shelves, although you occupy less than half? Several of your canvases have been thrown out because “now it’s easier to breathe”? Your needs aren’t equal to your partner’s? It’s unfair!
One last thing to remember:
If you feel any kind of dependency from your partner (emotional, psychological, or financial), it’s an important sign to rethink your relationship.
Illustrated by Astkhik Rakimova for BrightSide