Everyone wants to have meaningful relationships, whether it’s with family and friends, a business partnership, or an intimate relationship. Yet, finding that special someone who is both your best friend and soul mate, and who can bridge the gap of everything in between, is one of the most fulfilling experiences you can have.
Cultivating the perfect relationship with the right person isn’t always an easy feat, but relationships rooted in a spiritual connection may have a greater chance of survival and satisfaction when the couple is bonded through their spiritual beliefs and practices—as there is a mutual focus on supporting one another on the path.
Religious and Spiritual Connections
There are orthodox religious traditions that taught that if a marriage was established in and built upon spiritual connection, the partnership would be able to endure any trial or tribulation. This was, in part, why it was encouraged (and in some cases required) that people marry within the same faith or religion. To this day, many cultures still abide by these traditions while others have long since abandoned this practice in favor of their freedom to choose a partner regardless of religion or belief system.
Today, you may find yourself drawn to securing a life partner with whom you share the same philosophy of spiritual, if not religious, connection. More and more people are recognizing the presence of a spiritual practice as a fundamental piece in any lasting relationship.
Society has people highly focused on, and well trained in, the art of what Deepak Chopra refers to as object-referral. Object-referral is when your happiness, success, and sense of personal value or worth is based on what other people think of you and the external things you achieve or acquire. While there is nothing inherently wrong with any of this, it does draw your attention away from other important aspects of living a fulfilling life. One of the areas of life that suffers the most is your relationships. Either you get into relationships for the wrong reason or you forget how to nurture them, leaving you feeling disconnected and out of harmony.
Create Spiritual, Mental, Emotional, and Physical Alignment
The intention here is to bring an awareness of how you can create a container for being spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically aligned with your partner. Without a focus on having similar beliefs and practices, it won’t be long before a couple realizes that the third entity—their relationship—is in dire straits. If you neglect to place your awareness on nurturing that third aspect, the foundation is sure to crumble. What you place your attention on grows stronger and what you take your attention away from withers and fades away.
Couples who share the same viewpoints and have the same, if not similar, spiritual interests benefit from daily practices that enhance their spiritual connection. When there is a strong spiritual bond between people, it strengthens their foundation and their bond. When all else fails, that connection at the highest level remains, and they are able to weather any storm together. Here are five ways to help you build a strong spiritual connection with your partner.
Start with contemplation if you are in a relationship now or are hoping to find the person with whom you want to build a spiritual connection. You must first know who you are and what you want.
- What are your beliefs?
- What are your intentions and desires? Why are they important to you? What practices do you have that keep you connected to it?
- What are your viewpoints on religion or spirituality?
- What does it mean to you and why is it important?
- Do you have a religious faith or community you are committed to?
- Do you practice some form of daily prayer, devotion, or meditation?
- Do you enjoy having conversations about spirituality and higher consciousness?
- Do you enjoy learning about the history and tradition of your spiritual path?
2. Have Meaningful Conversations
Next, have a meaningful conversation with the person you are in a relationship with, asking him or her the same questions. If you’re single and dating, don’t be shy to have this conversation up front. Share with him or her your own viewpoints and then ask them where they stand in their beliefs and practices. Find out what is important to him or her and understand why. See if the two of you are on the same path—or are willing to step onto the same path together. This doesn’t mean you have to be exactly the same in your thoughts, beliefs, and practices, but there should be enough similarity that you’re on the same page.
3. Design Your Daily Spiritual Practice
Now that you’ve identified what’s important to you about having a spiritual connection in your relationship and you’ve established that you’re on the same page as your partner, it is a good time to identify things you will do as a daily practice together. Many couples begin and end their days with a practice of meditation. As you sit together and meditate, you are declaring to yourselves and the Universe that this is an important aspect of your relationship. When you enter into a different state of consciousness together, it can be a very sacred and special practice, even if it’s just taking a little time out of your day to be still with one another.
4. Create Time for Regular Intimacy
Another important and very relevant practice is the act of intimate connection. According to many spiritual teachers, you have one foot in matter and one foot in spirit. Establishing and maintaining intimacy in your relationship enables you to bridge the gap between the physical and the spiritual realms.
The energy that flows throughout the various layers of your being becomes ignited and merges as one when we you engage in intimate experiences with your partner. When practiced with awareness, intention, and reverence, the act of being physically intimate has the potential to unfold highly spiritual experiences and even awakenings.
5. Identify the Primary Intention of the Relationship
When two people come together, the relationship itself becomes the third entity. It’s actually separate from the two individuals; many people fail to recognize this. After the relationship has hit the six-month mark (approximately), individuals have a tendency to get into routines and stop paying as much attention to the relationship itself. You might think that just by being together, the relationship has forward momentum. That isn’t true. Energy goes where attention flows. When your focus is redirected toward work, children, getting to the gym, or any of life’s other obligations, you forget to nurture the relationship.
Taking the time together to discuss what the primary intention of your relationship is will keep you both anchored to your purpose for being together. You may find that the primary intention of your relationship is to know yourself and one another better so you can evolve and grow together. Or, perhaps your intention for being a couple is to experience greater happiness, joy, and connection in your life. When you both agree on the primary intention of your relationship, it’s important that you set aside time in your day or week to cultivate it.
Building a spiritual connection with your partner can be one of the most rewarding and fun things you do. At the end of the day, you enter into relationships for your own reasons. With some dedicated focus on where you are placing your attention and intention, you can create something really spectacular. Now that your relationship has a solid spiritual foundation, what can you do on a regularly basis to keep the spiritual connection and the momentum going? by chopra.com