“Wait but did I take out my tampon this morning or… ?”
1. When you can’t tell if your next period will be easy and breezy or if it’ll hit you like a truck:
2. Or if it’ll come without any warning:
3. When all of those “random” mood swings you were having the past few days suddenly make sense:
4. When you ruin that new pair of underwear and end up watching DIY blood stain removal videos for an hour:
5. When you take out your tampon and hold it up to examine like a little blood-soaked cotton pendulum:
6. When you finally get to go home and disappear into your couch after dealing with cramps all day at work:
7. Or when you get lucky and someone else cancels plans you were already dreading because of said cramps:
8. When you try to explain to other people that you do, in fact, have a giant circular saw going full-speed into your uterus:
9. And just when you start to feel a little better, your period strikes again with a vengeance:
10. When you realize that your best friend is actually a hot water bottle:
11. Or your pet, because somehow they understand your pain better than most… humans.
12. When you’re in public and your tampon string or pad shifts in an uncomfortable way, but you have to wait until you’re in private to ~readjust~ things:
13. When you go to stock up on supplies and the cashier is an awkward teenage boy (because this always happens):
14. When you leave a tampon in for longer than usual and suddenly remember all those horror stories about toxic shock syndrome (TSS).
P.S. don’t worry, TSS — a complication of a bacterial infection, usually Staphylococcus aureus or group A Streptococcus — is very rare and, according to gynecologists, it’s safe to sleep with a tampon in overnight.
15. Or when you swim in the ocean on your period and that myth about sharks smelling the blood starts to freak you out:
No, menstrual blood does not attract sharks.
16. When your period decides to take its sweet time and arrive oh-so-fashionably late:
17. And when you’re constantly paranoid that your pants are visibly soaked with blood, even though it has never actually happened: