As women, we really do ourselves and our potential pleasure a disservice by overthinking everything we do in bed.In particular, we tend to overestimate what a man may expect from us and our bodies when we’re getting down and dirty. There are certain things that we feel totally self-conscious about that men really don’t give much thought to.
While we may be 100% comfortable with our other half, we still want to appear in a certain way at certain points in our relationship, don’t we?
They’ve seen our face melting when we wept buckets over the burger we dropped on a night out and they’ve witnessed the Friday night beauty regime that involved A LOT of plucking – all of which we’re OK with, right?
But when it comes to bedroom antics, most of us want to come across as the Sex Goddess we know we truly are on the inside.
Here’s the thing though girls, there’s pretty much no point because the stuff we focus on in bed is NOT the stuff they focus on in bed.
Here are just ten things we tie ourselves in knots over and, frankly, they just don’t care about.
1. Whether your legs are waxed or not
Sure, he may notice tiny hair on your arms or legs on a usual day, but trust us, he won’t really fuss about the hair growth on your hands or feet during sex. They are just too busy looking (and appreciating) your beautiful body.
1. How long it takes you to cumm
If it takes you a long time to orgasm, you might start to feel self-conscious. But whatever happens, just know that he’ll be enjoying himself. Plus it’s pretty well-documented that women find it trickier to finish than their male counterparts so it’ll hardly be a blow to his ego if you don’t.
2. Your facial expression
It’s safe to say that men probably like that thing you do with your face during your steamy sex sessions. And besides, they have their own particular sex face.
3. If you jiggle
It’s pretty inevitable that your wobbly bits are going to jiggle about when you have sex, so it really isn’t something you should try to hide. No one should ever be so ashamed of their bodies that they will only ever have sex with a t-shirt on and the lights completely out.
4. What you’ve done with your hair
Men are so psyched any time they get the chance to have sex that they’re certainly not thinking about trivial things like whether or not your hair is up or down.
5. The sounds you make during sex
While certain sexual experiences can leave you feeling vulnerable or embarrassed, a lot of the time you lose control in the best possible way. When you orgasm, you’re essentially losing control over your body and this can lead you to make involuntary movements and sounds. It’s to be expected and no one’s going to be weirded out by it.
6. If your vagina doesn’t smell like a bouquet of fresh flowers
Women are especially insecure about the smell of their privates during oral sex. But it’s really not worth stressing about it – oral sex is a really intimate moment to share with a partner so just enjoy it! Also, vaginas are supposed to smell like vaginas and not your favorite Marc Jacobs perfume.
ake it from the experts: “It’s not supposed to smell like skin, an arm, or an elbow,” says Amanda Luterman, a psychotherapist in sexuality. “It’s supposed to smell like the inside if a person’s otherwise unseen – that’s the intimacy of it.”
And I’m sorry to say it but fussing about you privates during sex can be a huge turn-off. And that’s why having confidence is a huge plus in the bedroom!
7. If you’re too loud or not loud enough
Contrary to popular belief, no reasonable man is expecting the women they sleep with to be screaming the entire place down. And if you do happen to be a loud moaner, that’s also cool (unless you’re literally screaming in their ears).
8. How wet or not wet you are
There’s really no need to be insecure about being “too wet”. I mean, let’s face it, men are hardly going to be complaining about it and are actually very likely to see it as a compliment. And if you’re the kind of woman who has difficulties getting wet, there’s always lube.
9. Whether you’re totally hairless or not
A lot of women feel the need to painstakingly shave every part of their body for fear that their sexual partner will be disgusted by how they naturally look. But it’s almost certainly not as big a deal as you think it is. A lot of men will just be pleased that you’re willing to take your clothes off for them.
10. If you’ve got a tiny pimple on your face
It may be because you’re PMS-ing or because you have acne-prone skin but we can seriously never predict the zits. Also, men don’t really care so much about them.
11. That move you tried which didn’t work out too well
So you tried something new and it wasn’t a hit. Are you constantly thinking about it? Don’t, because he isn’t either. He probably thinks you’re cute goofing up at times.
12. When you sometimes don’t want to go oral
Sex can still be fun without oral sex. Sure, men love getting a blow job but then they can also do without it at times. It’s okay to sometimes say no to oral. Relax, girl!
13. When you take control
In fact, guys like it when their girl takes a little control in bed. Well, as long as you know the difference between taking control and ordering them what to do, it’s totally okay!