“Attractiveness can convey more power over visible space, but that in turn can make others feel they can’t approach that person…” – Dr. Tonya Frevert
While it may seem that people who are more physically attractive have an easier time finding a partner, this may not always be true. Physical attraction definitely plays a role in selecting a partner. People are first drawn by what they see. Attractive people have an easier time drawing new people and potential partners in. There’s no denying this.
However, attraction is more than just about the outside. Attractive people can have just as many struggles finding someone to connect with as someone who has average looks. There are plenty of reasons that someone who is beautiful and fit may have the same dating woes as everyone else.
Social psychologist Lisa Slattery Walker explains, “We have a whole set of cultural ideals about beauty that let us say if someone is attractive – and through those same ideals, we begin to associate it with competence.”
1. BECAUSE THERE ARE TOO MANY OPTIONS
While this may not seem like much of a problem, having too many options when it comes to dating can be just as difficult as having no options at all. Social psychologist Christine Ma-Kellams explains, “I think attractiveness gives you more options in terms of relationship alternatives which might make it harder to protect a relationship from outside threats. In this sense, having too many other choices is likely not beneficial for relationship longevity.”
Having an overwhelming amount of choices when it comes to dating can make it hard to connect with one person. After all, dating is something that can lead to connecting and falling in love with someone for the rest of your life. The idea of having to choose one of many can be daunting.
2. POTENTIAL PARTNERS ARE WARY OF YOUR OPTIONS
Attractive people may intimidate potential partners from making a move because they’re vibrantly aware that they have an array of different people to choose from. This can stop the good-hearted and genuine people from trying to make their move and get to know a person better. It can be disheartening to be part of a competition for someone’s affection, and people may not want to risk being turned down.
3. THEY’RE JUDGED BY THEIR LOOKS
After all, this is the first thing that many people see when they meet another person. Attractive people can be judged on their looks just as easily as people who aren’t as attractive. Whether this comes with the “Ditzy Blonde” stereotype or the “Meathead Jock” stereotype, attractive people are often judged based on their looks, which makes it hard to make a real connection with someone after they’ve already decided your personality based on how you look.
4. PEOPLE WANT TO USE THEM FOR THEIR BODIES
Attractive people often face the unique challenge of people using them for their looks and their bodies. They may be faced with people who try to get close to them and feign interest in them long enough to get intimate, and then being dropped emotionally. This may put people on edge and make them closed off from connecting to other people because they’re used to being used.
5. PEOPLE ASSUME THAT THEY’RE LOOSE
Good-looking people often have a stigma attached to them that assumes that they’re loose. Attractive people are often seen as sexual creatures and nothing else. Their agency is stripped from them and people often refuse to see them as wholly realized people with interests and opinions. It can be extremely draining, and put them off of dating.
6. IT’S HARDER TO FIGURE OUT PEOPLE’S TRUE INTENTIONS
Isabell Giardini, a 22-year-old Italian beauty who signed with Major Models mentioned, “When men see beautiful women, they are more concentrated on how she looks because they want to ‘have’ her, and so they don’t want to go deeper and get to know her…”
Hence, attractive people will be faced with the problem of trying to figure out what people really want from them. They’re often stuck with trying to figure out if someone is interested in them for their personality or their looks, which can make connecting with people difficult.
7. THEIR LOOKS CAN CAUSE DRAMA
This can range from people talking behind their back based on stereotypes associated with their looks, or even the source of jealousy. Dealing with drama can be difficult for any person, and attractive people are no different. The drama can make dating difficult, because the word of drama often spreads quicker than it can be contained. Everyone loves drama, expect when it comes to drama based around your looks.When it comes to being attractive, there are plenty of good things that come with it. Of course, there are social advantages that come with being attractive. At the same time, being attractive can cause a lot of difficulty when it comes to dating. Fortunately, there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel and plenty of fish in the sea. If you’re attractive and find yourself struggling with dating, just remember that there will always be someone willing to see past your face and look into your soul.