Splitting responsibilities and doing your share of work sounds like a cure for any unexpected trouble. Everything seems as easy as pie, you do 50% today, and your partner can do the rest tomorrow. However, not everything is as simple as it sounds. Once you actually try this, you’ll discover a lot of unpleasant pitfalls.
In an attempt to make your life a little easier, votreART is laying down all the drawbacks on the table.
1. Arguments and quarrels happen more often.
Tons of work both parents have to do puts pressure on any relationship. No matter how excited you were about having a baby, getting into conflicts is an inevitable part of the deal. Exhaustion makes moms and dads more irritable, and constant control over an equal share of duties only worsens the situation. It’s important to be flexible, however, it’s not always possible, especially when you have a baby in the house.
2. Communication needs to be on point.
Since you chose to split parenting 50/50 and not 70/20, you always have to be in touch with your spouse. This could be problematic because some situations are not suitable for civil and productive communication, such as traffic jams or missed deadlines. Peaceful communication is important, and if you can’t maintain it often, it’s better to opt out of 50/50 parenting.
3. It might be hard to change your mindset.
It might be challenging to let go of your beliefs and take on a new perspective. Oftentimes, split parenting leads to an unvoiced competition over the title of the best mom or dad. It might be easy to split and do the work, but it’s also essential to let your spouse do their share. Some try to get out of doing chores as well and leave all the work to one parent, which also creates many complications in a relationship.
4. It’s difficult to find a balance.
It’s not always possible to stick to an equal amount of duties for each parent. Some spouses might cheat and shrink their responsibilities while the other does more than necessary. The success of the parenting style also depends on the parents’ work and urgent projects, so sometimes, one of them will have to spend more time with the children.
5. Relationship satisfaction decreases.
It might seem like 50/50 parenting can work itself out automatically. However, this is a big misconception. Splitting parenting 50/50 requires communication and compromise, and if your expectations aren’t met, you end up feeling disappointed. You might feel like doing everything your way is the best option, but it’s essential to understand that “the perfect way” doesn’t exist.
How do you split parental responsibilities? What approach never works for you?